INTRO: A Culture of Eyes that Wander and Hearts That Wander Further
We live in a world where eyes roam freely and hearts are handed out like candy. Where marriages are tossed aside like yesterday’s trash. Where men fantasize in secret and women scroll through sinful thoughts cloaked in romance novels or Instagram envy. And Jesus isn’t silent about it.
Let me be clear. Matthew 5 is the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus doesn’t do things quietly here. He’s preaching.
He steps up to the Sermon on the Mount, looks across the faces of broken men and bruised families, and speaks with authority:
“Ye have heard… but I say unto you.”
He’s not soft. He’s not subtle. He’s not here to win fans—He’s here to save souls from hellfire. He’s here to save people from the wrath of God. Jesus wants good for you so please listen because this is how you get things from God. Hear his words and obey his words.
I. Adultery Doesn’t Start in Bed—It Starts in the Mind
Matthew 5:27–28
Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
Jesus strips away the fake righteousness of outward religion and exposes the heart. You don’t have to touch her—you just have to want to. You don’t have to commit the act—you just have to imagine it.
- This means pornography is adultery.
- This means that long look in the grocery store is adultery.
- That flirtatious message you sent while married is adultery.
- That private thought you replay again and again—that’s sin.
You need to get all of those things out of your life. All of us do. Everyone everywhere needs to put all of that away. Yes, it’s difficult because it’s absolutely everywhere in this world today.
Men and women. Young men and women. Dress modestly so you don’t cause people to do these things. Hide your private areas. Hide your nakedness. Don’t flaunt what you got everywhere to everyone. Those things are for one person and one person alone. It’s not for everyone.
Lust is an unfaithful heart, and unfaithful hearts destroy homes. If you’re married and looking at someone else, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? What do you think you’re doing? You better stop, and you better stop right now before the Lord God Almighty gets a hold of you. When you gets a hold of you, he might not let go. Your life might leave you.
If you’re single and lusting after all these different people, don’t think you’ll magically be pure in marriage. You won’t. Marriage doesn’t cure lust—Jesus does. We have to walk in the Spirit.
II. Cut It Off, or It Will Drag You to Hell
Matthew 5:29-30
And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
Jesus isn’t advocating self-harm—He’s preaching to repent of these sins no matter what you have to do. Whatever is causing you to sin—REMOVE IT. Don’t manage your sin—murder it.
- If your phone causes you to sin, get a dumb phone. It’s not worth getting punished by God.
- If your Netflix account opens the door to hell, cancel it. Most everything on there is pure trash and evil. Be careful. Get rid of it if needed.
- If a coworker is flirting and you’re feeling tempted—tell them to stop or change jobs. Use your mouth. “Hey, you need to stop.”
- If your imagination is your problem, renew it with the Word of God. Go to the Bible. Go to God in prayer. Replace bad things with good things.
There is nothing in your life worth you getting the wrath of God. No saved person will go to hell for these things but why would a child of God want to live like a child of hell?
The world says, “Follow your heart.” Jesus says, “Rip it out if it leads you to hell.” That’s how serious He is about sin.
III. Divorce Is Not Your Escape Hatch
Matthew 5:31-32
It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: 32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
In Deuteronomy 24, divorce was permitted for hardhearted people. But by the time Jesus preached this, divorce had become easy and common. Write a paper, walk away. And men thought they were clean in God’s eyes.
But Jesus raises the standard back to what it was always intended to be. He says if you divorce your wife for any reason except fornication, and she remarries—you caused her to commit adultery. And the man who marries her commits adultery too.
So what does “fornication” mean here?
Here’s the truth: fornication is not the same as adultery. Jesus uses both words in the same verse—so they cannot be synonyms.
- Fornication is sexual sin before marriage—like what Joseph thought Mary had done.
- Adultery is sexual sin after marriage—violating a covenant.
If you tell your husband you were a virgin when you got married and you lied about it, then he can divorce you according to Jesus Christ. And this would not be a sin. You don’t have to divorce. But it wouldn’t be a sin if you did.
That’s the only valid reason for divorce. If the woman you are about to marry who you thought was a virgin, shows up pregnant to the wedding then you’ve got a problem.
Divorce for any other reason leads to the sin of adultery which God takes very serious because he put the penalty of death on adultery within the Old Testament.
God created marriage as one man and one woman for life. Not until feelings fade. Not until someone else catches your eye. Not until you “fall out of love.” That’s foolishness.
The world’s idea of falling in love and falling out of love was created in psychiatric offices. That’s not in the Bible because it’s foolishness. Wake up and see the foolishness. Use the word of God as your source of truth. You don’t need all this other worldly trash to guide you. You simply need the Bible.
God’s law says: stay faithful. The world’s law says: be happy.
The world says, “It’s all about you. It’s about whatever makes YOU happy.” Nope. That’s a lie straight out of the pits of hell.
But God never promised happiness in your marriage—He promised holiness.
- Marriage is not disposable.
- Adultery is not excusable.
- Divorce is not an easy out.
You say, “But Josh, I’m not happy in my marriage.” You’re not commanded to be happy—you’re commanded to be holy. Get on your knees, ask God to rebuild what you tore down, and love the one you committed to love.
You say, “We’ve fallen apart.” God can resurrect the dead—He can restore your marriage. But most people don’t want to hear it because THEY already made up their mind. Why don’t you try working on your marriage? Marriage takes work.
IV. Commitment Is Not a Curse—It’s a Blessing
We live in a generation that mocks commitment. They say, “Why get married? Just live together. Keep it casual. Don’t tie yourself down.” But that’s a lie, again, from the pit of hell.
Why are you listening to the people in this world who screwed it all up to begin with? You’re listening to the people who have been married 5 times. You don’t get marriage advice from someone who couldn’t stay married.
Get your advice from the Bible because some people who have been married for a long time are complete weirdos and do some nasty things.
“Well, how did you stay married?”
“Well, we stay married because we built a house in which we split into two halves. There’s not even a door to her side from my side. We never see each other. We’re happier that way.”
Some husbands won’t sleep with their wife in the same bed EVER. If that’s you, you need to get something fixed. And don’t ever let it start to go that way either. Make the commitment and work on it. BOTH SIDES. Marriage isn’t a one sided thing. It’s for both.
Don’t be lazy either. If there’s a lazy husband, things are going to be tough. If there’s a lazy wife, things are going to be tough. Get up and get to work. Both of you. Both sides. The husband doesn’t do all the work. The wife doesn’t do all the work. Don’t be lazy. I hate laziness and so does God.
Let me say this clearly: Commitment is not weakness. It’s strength. The world will tell you that committing to someone is just too much.
Commitment isn’t a trap—it’s the only way to treasure.
I love my wife. I thank God I committed to her. If I didn’t make that commitment, I wouldn’t have her today. Do we have problems at times? Yes we do. Everyone does. Get over it and move on. Get things right. If I listened to the world, I wouldn’t have my wife and my kids that I love greatly.
I wouldn’t have the joy of walking through fire together. I wouldn’t have the peace of knowing she’s by my side through every storm even when I don’t deserve it. She’s there. And I will be there for her.
I wouldn’t have the blessing of building a life with someone who knows me deeper than anyone else—and still loves me.
People act like committing to one person limits your freedom. But the truth is: without commitment, you never experience real love.
You just bounce from feeling to feeling, never digging roots, never bearing fruit.
And let me tell you—there’s no “upgrade” out there.
You don’t need a different spouse. You need a deeper commitment to the one you already have. Don’t try to upgrade your wife the same way you upgrade your fast food meal or the character on your video game. Your wife is YOUR WIFE. There is no other. She is a one time thing. Your husband is YOUR HUSBAND. One time thing. You don’t get another one.
IV. Final Call: Find Your Spouse and Stay With Them
You made a vow before God—“till death do us part.” You weren’t lying then, so don’t quit now.
- Husbands, stop looking at other women. Love your wife like Christ loves the Church.
- Wives, stop dreaming about another man. Build up your husband with godly submission and encouragement.
- If you’re single, stop pretending that purity doesn’t matter. It does.
The greatest act of rebellion in this wicked world is to stay pure, stay faithful, and stay married. Rebel against the world and not against God.
Hey, if you want to be different in this world, follow what God says. Don’t follow the ways of the world. Everyone else is doing that. You do the opposite. Do what God asks you to do. And you don’t even need to know what the world is doing. Who cares what they’re doing.
Their ways lead to death. God’s ways lead to life and are far better.
We have people in this church who have been married for a long time. My Dad and Mom have been married for 50 years and still going. Pam and I have been married for almost 23 years. We’ve been together for almost 29 years. At times, I get on her nerves. At other times, she gets on my nerves. But we get over it.
And we keep going. We get through the problems. We don’t quit on each other. Getting divorced is never an option.
CLOSING: A Call to War Against Lust
If lust is in your heart—fight it.
If bitterness is in your marriage—forgive it.
If selfishness is ruling your home—repent of it.
Actually stop and examine yourselves before things get worse.
Don’t wait until the divorce papers are signed and the children are shattered. Get right. Right now.
You say, “It’s just in my head.” But that’s where all destruction begins. That’s where adultery starts. That’s where families fall apart. That’s where lives get ruined. The battlefield is the mind—and if you don’t fight the war there, it won’t stay in your head for long. It will make its way into your hands, your feet, your phone, and your home.
2 Corinthians 10:5
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
Jesus didn’t say play with lust. He said cut it off and throw it out.
He didn’t mean to actually cut off your body parts. He’s saying it’s better to take out your right eye than end up in hell. This is true. He is saying it is better to lose one part of your body than to be cast into hell. This is true. But how about you get rid of the evil by walking in the Spirit. And you don’t have to pluck out your right eye.
Because a pure heart is worth more than a temporary thrill. And an eternal soul is worth more than a forbidden glance.
Hebrews 13:4
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
Don’t be a whoremonger or a man that goes from woman to woman. Don’t be a whore or a woman that goes from man to man. Don’t be a married man or woman that goes and finds strange men and women that don’t belong to them. Don’t be an adulterer. GOD WILL JUDGE.
And this means within your heart too. Not just the physical act. We all need to get this right today. Don’t look back ever again. Stick to the Bible.
Call to Action:
- Men, take your wife by the hand tonight and pray with her. And keep praying with her.
- If you need to make a woman your wife, you need to do that. Stop playing games and get it done. And once you do, you stay married for life. No other option.
- Women, if you’ve been cold, bitter, or daydreaming about another life, you need to get in the Bible.
- Singles, commit before God that your future marriage won’t be built on lust, but on Christ. Get to church. Wait on God. He will send the right person for you.
God’s standard is high. But His grace is deeper. Run to Him, not your flesh. And remember, once you are married, you stay married. Till Death Do Us Part. Don’t forget that. Don’t be a quitter.
Let’s pray.
Leave a Reply