Helping People Who Will Not Help Themselves

1 Thessalonians 5:11-15

I want to go over the mission of this church as we get started today. The mission of this church: 1) Preach the Gospel and win souls to Jesus Christ. 2) Baptize in water as the first step of obedience to Jesus Christ. 3) Teach them all things within the Bible.

Notice that there aren’t all these other things. This is our mission as given within the Bible. We do special events to support this mission. We have food and clothing to support this mission. Everything we do is to support this mission that we have. Our mission matches the commandment of Jesus Christ so we have the right mission.

Many of you in here right now have heard the Gospel and believed the Gospel. That means you have everlasting life. Your soul is saved. You’re going to heaven no matter what. Many of you have taken that next step in obeying Jesus Christ by getting baptized in water.

Teaching All Things Takes a Lifetime and More

The final step is to teach you all things within the Bible. This is the long step. This one takes more time. This is where you come into church, listen to the word of God, hear what God commands, and then make changes in the way you do things.

If you hear God’s words and his instructions to you, and you make those changes, your life will greatly improve. You can watch God bless you and you change things in your life. That’s how your life improves. It takes you hearing the word of God and making changes.

We teach what the Bible says so that you don’t sin against God. We teach what the Bible says so you can make the necessary changes in your life so that you walk with Jesus Christ and that you aren’t walking against Jesus Christ.

We are here to worship God in that way. We teach the truth from the Bible. We hear the truth. We make the changes. I change. You change. We help you by teaching you how to do things the right way not according to our words but according to God’s words.

People Must Be Willing to Help Themselves

We will help people, but we need those same people to also help themselves. Today, that’s what I want to focus in on. And this is very important. Helping people who will not help themselves. This can’t continue for long periods of time. When we continue to help people who won’t help themselves this enables people to sin.

And the Bible commands us to “neither be partaker of other men’s sins.” The Bible says to have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness but rather reprove them. The Bible says, “For he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds.” The Bible says, “That ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues.”

I want to be very clear that you should not be dependent on anyone after you grow up and leave the home. If you are, your life will be very difficult. It’s time to grow up and stop depending on others to do everything for you. Yes, it’s time.

God’s design is for parents to teach the children. For example, my wife and I only have so long to teach our four daughters what they need to know before they find a husband and leave our home.

Teach Your Children the Right Ways and Pass It On

All four of our daughters have been home schooled with Abeka from the young age of 3 to 4 years old. Callie started at 4, Taylor at 3, Emma at 4, and Abigail will start at 3 years old later this year. They know how to read, write, and do math and much more than that. We’ve taught them how to work hard.

For example, Callie taught herself how to play the piano. She took that upon herself. She hasn’t had any lessons. She decided she wanted to do it. I didn’t tell her to do it. She works hard on the piano. And she can use that skill to earn money in the future for her husband and her future family.

We’ve taught our children the Bible. We’ve read through the Bible with them many times from the front to the back. We’ve done this together. And we’re going to continue to do this. I stop, many times, while reading the Bible with Pam and my kids and I explain the Scriptures. We talk about God’s word. We make sure that they believe the truth in the Bible. The Bible is most important.

Psalm 1:1-3
Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.  2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.  3 And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.

The Most Important Part of Coming to Church

That right there is the most important part of coming to church. It’s not all these other things. It’s hearing the word of God, seeing the word of God, believing the word of God. We are not to walk in the counsel of the ungodly. We are not to listen to this world. Our ungodly friends. Our ungodly family. We are not to stand with the sinners and participate in sin.

Instead we are to DELIGHT in the law of the Lord and in his law meditate day and night. We are to continue with this throughout our life. We’ve taught our children and are teaching them how to preach the Gospel and win souls to Jesus Christ.

Now, some people haven’t had parents that taught them all of these same things. There are some people who have not been taught how to work hard.

For example, my grandfather, my Dad, and my Mom taught me how to work hard. I grew up on small farms. I learned how to dig post holes, put up hay, build homes, build barns, build decks, plant trees, clean out calf stalls, wheelbarrow things, do landscaping, run cows, get cows up in pens, feed the cows, cut weeds along fence lines, carry feed bags all day long to customers, run a business, get up very early for work, do electrical work, how to treat customers, how to work together, push mow the big yard, weed eat miles of fence, and more.

My Parents Taught Me Many Things but Not Everything

My parents taught me. I went to public school. Graduated. I went to the University of Louisville for Electrical Engineering. I learned I was behind compared to others. I worked very hard to catch up. I take everything as a challenge. I don’t give up. I don’t run away. I face it head on. That’s what I was taught. And I conquered those things with God.

I’ve had a job my entire life. I will not go without a job, Lord willing, as long as I live. It takes consistent, diligent, hard work every day, every week, every month, every year, every decade. And we do not stop. And our children see these things, and they learn from them. They learn how to do things the right way according to God’s word.

Our children grow up being taught well. They leave the home eventually. While they are under our roof, they follow our rules and do as we say. If they don’t like the rules and they don’t follow the rules, they get punished or they get out if they are old enough. God’s design is for a child to grow up and then leave father and mother.

Leave Father and Mother and Take Care of Yourself

Genesis 2:24
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Matthew 19:5
And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

Ephesians 5:31
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

When a child grows up, he or she is to leave father and mother. That means father and mother are no longer there to provide everything for them. They are to take care of themselves. Now they work. Now they pay for their own food, their own house, their own things. Dad and Mom don’t continue to pay for everything. You’ve grown up now.

Now, here’s what we have. We have people out there that won’t help themselves. They never grew up. They never left father and mother as they were supposed to do. And they go around, wandering in this world, believing that everyone should take care of them.

And then the government steps in to take care of them because they won’t take care of themselves according to God’s word. And things will not work out well because this is a clear breaking of God’s commandment.

See The Words of the Bible and Believe Them

This is where we see the words of the Bible, believe the words of the Bible, and make those changes in our life to be in accordance with God’s words. And then you are not going against God. Going against God is pure and utter foolishness.

2 Thessalonians 3:10-11
For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.  11 For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies.

God says very clearly, “This we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.” If you aren’t working, what are you doing? This is where you become a busybody working not at all. And God’s words come true. They will come to pass.

2 Thessalonians 3:11-12
For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies.  12 Now them that are such we command and exhort by our Lord Jesus Christ, that with quietness they work, and eat their own bread.

We don’t get to pick and choose things out of the Bible. The Bible says, “We command and exhort by our Lord Jesus Christ, that with quietness they work, and eat their own bread.” Work, earn wages, pay for your own bread. This is good advice. We exhort you by Jesus Christ to do this.

Don’t Expect Others to Take Care of You For Life

You can’t expect others to take care of you your entire life. You will never be happy this way. You will not have joy and peace in your life. Being a busybody will not bring good things to you. It will mess with your mind. It will cause anxiety. It will cause you to worry about everyone else. Instead, work and you won’t have those problems. Those things will go away with work.

1 Timothy 5:13
And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.

The word of God is truth. This is what happens. Look at the next verse.

1 Timothy 5:14-15
I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.  15 For some are already turned aside after Satan.

When you won’t work, you will become a busybody and you are turned aside after Satan just as the Scriptures say. So younger women don’t become busybodies, the Bible says: “I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, and give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”

God’s design is for the husband to go out and work and for the wife to bear children and guide the house. When a woman has a husband, children, and a home to care for there isn’t much time to do anything else. This is hard work.

People Who Refuse to go by God’s Words

So, now, let’s give some examples from my life in which I’ve seen people who refuse to do things according to God’s word. There are people who constantly want help, but they won’t help themselves. And I’m going to tell you how it works, and it works this way every time. I’ve seen this over and over again in my life. I’m not a novice. I have experience.

My uncle, who passed away a few years ago, is an example of a man who would not help himself. This was my Dad’s brother. My Dad, my Mom, my wife all saw these things happen. My Dad saw it better than anyone, and he could tell you these things better than I. We’ve seen these examples that break the words of the Bible.

My uncle grew up with my Dad. My Dad has always worked hard. My uncle has always not worked hard. You get to choose. Work hard in your life or don’t work hard in your life. God commands you to work hard.

My uncle wouldn’t work hard. He never had money of his own to pay for things. So, do you know what happened? My grandfather took care of my uncle his entire life. My grandfather gave him everything. My grandfather was able to get him to work with him at times. I saw my uncle work. But he couldn’t even work a few hours straight because he would have to do his drugs.

My grandfather helped the man who would not help himself. Whenever he would get money, he would go spend it on drugs and other things he didn’t need. My uncle deceived us his entire life. At one point, we thought he got saved, he started coming to church, and then he started asking for money.

Giving Money Usually Doesn’t Help Anything

My Dad decided to give him some money because he whined and cried that he was going to lose his house. We thought he was trying to do good. He then takes the money and has a party with it. And tells my Dad that he had a party with it. He deceived my Dad. He lied to my Dad. My Dad was trying to help him because he thought he had changed.

That’s just one example. This happened his entire life. We’ve seen it over and over again. At 60 something years old, my uncle was still whining to my grandfather for money. He wouldn’t work. He acted like he couldn’t work.

He would go to the Dollar Store in Simpsonville, Kentucky and fall and then try to sue the store. It didn’t work. So he sent his wife and she would try the same thing. It didn’t work.

God is watching and seeing all of these things as they are happening. God knows the thoughts and intentions of your heart. Always looking for free money. Never willing to work for it.

My uncle was addicted to drugs and my grandfather continued to help him. This enabled the sin of my uncle. Whenever he wouldn’t get what he wanted, he would whine and cry that no one loved him. Do you know what happened to my uncle? My uncle ends up dying a horrible death, all alone, from a drug overdose.

His Children Died

His son, my cousin, died. I lost my cousin because my uncle could have cared less about his own son. He cared for drugs. He cared for s0-called “fun” in his life. My grandfather bought him a new car, and he goes out, wrecks it, and costs my grandfather tens of thousands of dollars more.

My Dad didn’t get anything for free. My uncle did. And you’ll see the difference. My uncle is dead. My Dad is still here, and he is doing well and pleasing God. My Dad follows the commandments of God. He’s not perfect, but he tries. My uncle broke the commandments of God, lied to God’s people, and you see what happened to him.

 I lost my other cousin due to a drug overdose, my uncle’s daughter, while she overdosed in front of her 3 year old son. That’s what he taught his wife and children. My uncle taught them the things of the devil. Not working is of the devil, and my uncle’s end is what happens to people. Instead of working, they are out there deceiving, lying, drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, getting drugs any way they can.

My aunt is out there right now trying to find her next drugs. I haven’t seen her in years. We got her to come to church for a little while. She brought a man with her one week. Told us he was her husband. The next week she brings a different man and tells us he is her husband. She couldn’t even remember the week before.

Enabling Sin Doesn’t “Help” Anyone

Why? Because people helped her, enabled her sin, when she wouldn’t help herself. She’s out there somewhere wandering around selling herself to get more drugs. It’s sad. And all this was made possible because there are people who keep helping people who won’t help themselves.

So, I want to be clear, I will not be one of those people. This church is here to help you, but to help you in the right ways. If you lie to me, I might not know but I know one who does know. And he’s watching. Don’t lie to me. Don’t lie to the people here. Here, at this church, we don’t lie to each other. We tell the truth. We want good for you and not bad.

If you are one of those people who help people who will not help themselves, let me be clear, you are not helping them. You are breaking God’s commandment and nothing good will come from it.

For example, people tell me that they miss this person or that person in their life. My uncle, who overdosed on drugs literally killing himself, missed my grandfather who died a few years before him. He would say, “I miss my Daddy. He was the only one who loved me.” He thought that my grandfather giving him everything he wanted, without working for it, was love.

God Commands You and I to Work

But I just showed you that God commands us to work. And we know that love is the fulfilling of God’s commandments. Giving a man everything his entire life when he refused to work for it was not love. My grandfather gave and gave and gave and enabled to sin of my uncle. And this led to a horrible death for my uncle. Sin leads to death.

People will tell me they miss this person or that person because this person or that person took care of them as a father and mother care for an infant. The infant needs help. The grown man and the grown woman need to learn to care for themselves.

Everyone else can’t take care of you your entire life. If they do, they do not have love for you. They are killing you. And here’s what happens. Let’s say you help someone like my uncle a little. Then he wants more and more and more. When you say that you won’t help any more, what happens?

This is always the same. You’ve helped someone. They won’t do things according to God’s word. You stop helping them. What happens? They get angry like an infant that isn’t getting their food. They throw a tantrum.

They call you all kinds of things. They talk trash about you. They want to come to your house and damage everything that you worked for. This is what they do. They act like everything is your fault while nothing is their fault. It’s always someone else that caused everything.

Unthankful for Everything

Unthankful for everything that you did for them. They don’t even remember it. For example, I’ve helped many people in my life. They thought it was going to be a continuous thing like I was their Daddy or something and they were the infant. When the help stopped, they threw an infant tantrum. And they forgot everything that I did for them. It meant nothing to them. Unthankful and unholy.

Let me give you another example that could easily turn into an example just like my uncle. And I’m telling you this today because I don’t want my nephew to die like my uncle died.

I have a nephew who refuses to get up and work after being warned over and over and over again. He sits inside a basement living there for years and won’t work. Nothing is wrong with him. He just won’t work. He sits there. He drinks alcohol. He told me. And he acts like a bum who won’t get up off his lazy butt. He refuses to labour. He brings multiple women home.

Proverbs 21:25
The desire of the slothful killeth him; for his hands refuse to labour.

He refuses to work. The Bible says he is slothful. This is a great sin that we talked about last week in church. He will start getting into more and more trouble. He is a busybody. He will not be happy. What are the women thinking that he brings home with him?

It’s Time to Get to Work

Let me be clear to all the men and women out there right now. If you are a man, and you won’t work, you better get up. God commanded you to work. If you refuse to work, I’m telling you right now that it won’t be good for you. You will go down and down and down until you die a horrible death. Don’t break God’s commandments.

Women, don’t marry a man that won’t work. It’s not going to work out good. “But I love him.” No you don’t. You’re enabling him not to work. That’s a sin. And you’re helping him to sin. So, let’s say people keep helping my nephew who refuses to help himself. What will happen?

Nothing good is going to happen. When you keep giving him money and other things, you aren’t helping him. He refuses to work. The Bible says he won’t eat. Now, let’s say you can choose to work or die from starvation, what will you choose? If you choose to die from starvation because you refuse to work, that’s your own fault. That’s foolishness.

When we follow the commandments of God, everything turns out for the good. We follow God’s example that he set for us.

John 5:17
But Jesus answered them, My Father worketh hitherto, and I work.

“I Will Not Work. I Refuse to Work.”

What if Jesus was like my uncle? We’d all be dead. My uncle loved himself and never changed that. He lost children and still didn’t care. What if God the Father and the Holy Spirit were lazy? We’d all be dead. Jesus said, “My Father works, and I work.” My Dad worked. I work. It’s time to change things for the good.

And if you are stubborn, and you say, “I will not work.” I promise you right now that you will not have a good life. Do not go against the commandments of God. Do not help those that go against the commandments of God. And don’t get mad at me when I won’t help you any more.

I’ve seen young men in their 20’s who are in much better shape than me that refuse to work and then get mad at me. Who should be getting mad? You’re making God angry, and you better watch out.

I will not continue to give you things for nothing. We will not enable your sin against God. We will follow the commandments within the Bible.

Do Not Help Those Who Won’t Help Themselves

We are not going to help people who won’t help themselves. We will follow the mission of this church. We will preach the Gospel, win souls to Jesus Christ, get them baptized, and help them truly by teaching the word of God in church. The word of God will always help you.

Ephesians 5:3-7
But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;  4 Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.  5 For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.  6 Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.  7 Be not ye therefore partakers with them.

Let no man deceive you with vain words. I’ve been deceived many times before even by people who I thought would be good people. They deceive you to get what they want from you. Once you figure it out, and that they are simply using you, then they hate you.

I highly recommend that you stop helping those who won’t help themselves. If not, and you continue, remember my uncle. He got accustomed to everyone giving him everything for nothing. And he died a horrible death. Remember that. Don’t do it. They are sinning, and look at verse 7 again. “Be not ye therefore partakers with them.” It will not end up good for you or for them.

Let’s pray.