The Proper and Right Age for Marriage

[2] The title of the sermon: “THE PROPER AND RIGHT AGE FOR MARRIAGE.”

• Our country and our states have laws on marriage.
• For example, most states have a minumum age of 18 years old.
• Nabraska is 19 years old minimum age. Mississippi is generally 21 years old minimum age.
• But, what does the Bible say about the proper and right age for marriage?
• I want to take a close look at the guidelines that God gives us within the Bible.

[3] 1 Corinthians 7:36-38 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry. 37 Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well. 38 So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.

• We are going to focus in on these Scriptures for the entire sermon.
• This may be difficult for many to understand so let’s break these down. This is easy when we slow down.
• I’m going to break these down separately so I’m putting one verse at a time up for now.
• Later, we will add them all back together again, and these will make perfect sense to you.

[4] 1 Corinthians 7:36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.

• “But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin.”
• This Scripture is telling you who is who here. This is where the confusion comes for many people.
• Uncomely means improperly. A man is not behaving properly toward his virgin.

HIS VIRGIN. Who would the HIS actually be? This is speaking of the father of the virgin.

• The Dad. His daughter is the virgin. This isn’t speaking of some man who wants to marry the daughter.
• She is not HIS VIRGIN. My daughter is MY VIRGIN until I give her in marriage to another man.
• If you attempt to argue that this means something different, you would be VERY WRONG.
• I am 100% sure that this means the father of the virgin because she is my responsibility. No doubt at all.

Is the father treating his virgin properly? For example, my daughter might want to get married to some man.

• If I say no to that, am I treating her properly? Some might want to force their daughter to get married.
• Is this okay to do according to the Scriptures? Let’s see what the Bible says here.

If you keep reading, you will see that this is speaking of the father of the virgin woman. HIS VIRGIN. Case closed.

• There will be three people discussed in these Scriptures: 1) the father, 2) the daughter, 3) the other man.
• The daughter and this other man are looking to get married in this example.
• Should a father approve under any circumstance? We’re going to answer these questions Biblically.
• Every father should have virgin daughters, and that father needs to make sure his daughters are virgins.

They don’t go away on their own before they are married. This is how you know they are virgins.

• We don’t send them away to college to fornicate. Fornication is a wicked sin that God hates.
• This is my responsibility as the father of these young women.
• This is my wife’s responsibility too. This is our job as one flesh.

God gave me the job to protect my daughters, and I have four of them. And that job I will do.

• When I get to heaven, I want to be able to say that I at least did that job well. “Well done.”
• If I can’t get anything else right, let’s get this right because this is huge in changing this country.
• Stop giving money to the liberal colleges that hate God and Jesus Christ.
• Look at the next part of verse 36.

“If she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.”

• LET THEM MARRY. This speaks of the daughter and the other man who wants to marry her.
• If the daughter and this other man want to get married, the father of the virgin makes the decision.
• If she is past the flower of her age, the father may allow his virgin to get married to avoid fornication.
• If she is past the flower of her age, this doesn’t mean the father MUST allow his daughter to get married.

“If she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.”

• Let him do what he will. If he allows them to marry, he doesn’t sin in allowing this marriage of his virgin.
• If I decide not to allow this marriage for some good reason I have, this is also not sinning.
• I’ll show you this in the next verses, but I first want to talk about the flower of her age.

What does this mean? “If she pass the flower of her age.”

• This means she is now a woman. She is no longer a child.
• She is mature. She can get pregnant. She can now have children. Let’s look at some Scriptures.
• This is all God’s design so don’t question these things.

If you search the Scriptures for flower and flowers, you will find 37 matches in 34 verses.

• There are only 3 Scriptures that correlate with the meaning here.
• The others are talking about actual flowers. Let’s look at the 3 in the order they appear in the Bible.
• We’re going to Leviticus Chapter 15, a chapter that most people never read and attempt to understand.
• You’ll see the occurrences of the word “flowers” in verse 24 and 33. We’re going to start in verse 19.

[5] Leviticus 15:19-21 And if a woman have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days: and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the even. 20 And every thing that she lieth upon in her separation shall be unclean: every thing also that she sitteth upon shall be unclean. 21 And whosoever toucheth her bed shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.

• This is speaking of an issue every woman will have, which we call her period.
• “Her issue in her flesh be blood.” This teaching makes some people uncomfortable.
• Why? This is God’s design, obviously, and the Bible explains all of these things.
• All Scripture is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.
• We are to know these Scriptures and their meaning. So, let’s keep going.
• I am going to show you what “flower of her age” means in 1 Corinthians Chapter 7.

[6] Leviticus 15:22-24 And whosoever toucheth any thing that she sat upon shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even. 23 And if it be on her bed, or on any thing whereon she sitteth, when he toucheth it, he shall be unclean until the even. 24 And if any man lie with her at all, and her flowers be upon him, he shall be unclean seven days; and all the bed whereon he lieth shall be unclean.

• Verse 24 includes the word flowers.
• “And if any man life with her at all, and her flowers be upon him, he shall be unclean seven days; and all the bed whereon he lieth shall be unclean.”
• This speaks of a sexual relationship while the woman has this issue of blood or her period.
• “And her flowers be upon him.” So, we know what the Scriptures are talking about here.
• 1 Corinthians Chapter 7 says, “If she pass the flower of her age.” She is now mature according to God.

[7] Leviticus 15:25-26 And if a woman have an issue of her blood many days out of the time of her separation, or if it run beyond the time of her separation; all the days of the issue of her uncleanness shall be as the days of her separation: she shall be unclean. 26 Every bed whereon she lieth all the days of her issue shall be unto her as the bed of her separation: and whatsoever she sitteth upon shall be unclean, as the uncleanness of her separation.

[8] Leviticus 15:27-29 And whosoever toucheth those things shall be unclean, and shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even. 28 But if she be cleansed of her issue, then she shall number to herself seven days, and after that she shall be clean. 29 And on the eighth day she shall take unto her two turtles, or two young pigeons, and bring them unto the priest, to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation.

[9] Leviticus 15:30-31 And the priest shall offer the one for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt offering; and the priest shall make an atonement for her before the LORD for the issue of her uncleanness. 31 Thus shall ye separate the children of Israel from their uncleanness; that they die not in their uncleanness, when they defile my tabernacle that is among them.

[10] Leviticus 15:32-33 This is the law of him that hath an issue, and of him whose seed goeth from him, and is defiled therewith; 33 And of her that is sick of her flowers, and of him that hath an issue, of the man, and of the woman, and of him that lieth with her that is unclean.

• We didn’t read the entire chapter, but we read the Scriptures related to flowers.
• “And of her that is sick of her flowers.” From what I know, it is like a sickness. It’s painful for a woman.
• And there are other Scriptures related to this as well within the law of God.
• I’ll mention one here, but this is not the focus of the sermon.
• Remember, we’re talking about the proper and right age for marriage.

[11] Leviticus 20:18 And if a man shall lie with a woman having her sickness, and shall uncover her nakedness; he hath discovered her fountain, and she hath uncovered the fountain of her blood: and both of them shall be cut off from among their people.

• So, this would be a sin to lay with your wife when she has her monthly sickness, issue of blood, or period.
• Now, there’s one more Scripture related to flower of her age. Let’s look at this one.

[12] 1 Samuel 2:33-34 And the man of thine, whom I shall not cut off from mine altar, shall be to consume thine eyes, and to grieve thine heart: and all the increase of thine house shall die in the flower of their age. 34 And this shall be a sign unto thee, that shall come upon thy two sons, on Hophni and Phinehas; in one day they shall die both of them.

• “And the increase of thine house shall die in the flower of their age.”
• This means they weren’t children any more. They are now mature.
• A young lady is a woman once she passes the flower of her age. And they greatly mature from that time.
• But, a father still has the authority over his virgin to say when she is ready for marriage.
• God tells us that the father decides once she is past the flower of her age. Let’s look closely.

[13] 1 Corinthians 7:36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.

• If the father decides that his virgin and the man she wants to marry are ready, LET THEM MARRY.
• “LET HIM DO WHAT HE WILL, HE SINNETH NOT.” Do you understand this?
• Who knows his virgin better than the virgin’s own father and mother? No human does.
• As a man of God, I want what is best for my daughter. I am going to speak with my daughter.
• I am going to speak with this man who wants to marry my daughter.

And my daughter should understand that I know more than this man who wants to marry her.

• I have raised her from a child. I know how to take care of her. This other man should be a novice.
• I am not a novice. I know how to work, provide for my virgins, and take care of them.
• They are doing well. Does this man who wants to marry my daughter know how to take care of her?
• I won’t allow her to marry some lazy bum. He better know how to work and take care of her.

So understand this. A son needs to get out into the world at a younger age and learn how to work.

• A daughter needs to stay at home and learn how to care for the home.
• Her job is to be a keeper at home no matter what the world says. The man gets out there and works.
• This is God’s will. The daughter doesn’t go out on her own into this world. The son does.
• And the father of the son teaches his son how to work and provide before he sends him out on his own.

Do you understand this? GOD GAVE ME THIS AUTHORITY OVER MY VIRGIN. This is MY DAUGHTER.

• If you come wanting to marry my daughter, you better come with some proof you can take care of her.
• This is my responsibility as her father. And I don’t take this responsibility lightly.
• A marriage is for life. The only valid reason for divorce is fornication which is prior to marriage.
• And my job is to make sure my daughter does not fornicate prior to marriage.

My job is to make sure she is a virgin prior to getting married because this is the only valid reason for divorce.

• For all the fathers out there, make sure you understand this importance and do not follow the ways of this world.
• Don’t allow your daughters to go out driving on their own on dates with their boyfriends.
• You can go out with them. For example, go out to dinner and allow them to sit at their own table.

They need privacy to talk but not to do other things. It’s good that they don’t even touch each other.

• The Bible says these things. They can have a date inside or outside my home in my presence.
• Not behind a closed door. Same things goes for me and other women. No closed doors.
• If you want to talk with me, you can talk to me in a public place. No closed doors.
• I hope all of this is starting to make sense.

[14] 1 Corinthians 7:1-2 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

• This Scripture is back at the beginning of the chapter.
• “IT IS GOOD FOR A MAN NOT TO TOUCH A WOMAN.” If he needs to touch her, first get married.
• “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife.”
• “And let every woman have her own husband.” Do you know what touching each other leads to?
• FORNICATION. It is good for a man not to touch my virgin. Do you understand this?
• This is my job to ensure that doesn’t happen. Touch my daughter, and I will come after you.

Here’s another point for this sermon. I don’t touch your wife. Don’t touch my wife.

• Shaking a hand is not bad because strangers do this. But don’t come up and hug my wife like I would.
• Use your brain. It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Common sense.
• You have your own wife. I have my own wife. Touch your own wife. Don’t touch others.
• All of the Scriptures go together, and you’ll know I’m teaching the right things here.
• Let’s get back to the main topic of this sermon. We’re going back to 1 Corinthians Chapter 7.

[15] 1 Corinthians 7:36-38 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry. 37 Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well. 38 So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.

• We went over verse 36 in detail. Now let’s focus in on verse 37.
• I want to put this one up here on its own.

[16] 1 Corinthians 7:37 Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well.

• Look closely. Another man who wants to marry my daughter doesn’t want to keep the woman a virgin.
• This is one of the reasons for marriage. TO AVOID FORNICATION.
• And fornication is a sexual relationship outside of marriage.
• The man and the woman has this burning within them towards each other. They want each other.
• They want to become one with each other and that happens in a sexual relationship with each other.
• Let me explain what I mean with the Scriptures before I go back to verse 37 here.

[17] 1 Corinthians 7:9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

• Let’s say my daughter is at the right age and she has chosen a Godly man who loves Jesus Christ to marry.
• I am not going to stop them from getting married. He better be ready to take care of my daughter.
• If he is following the Bible, he will be able to take care of my daughter.
• If so, I will allow the marriage. If they cannot contain, LET THEM MARRY. I follow the Scriptures.
• I bow down to the word of God. I am not above His words. I submit to God’s authority.

My daughter and this other man she wants to marry need to understand I have authority as well over my daughter.

• God has given me that authority, and I will do the right thing according to God’s words.
• The Scripture says, “For it is better to marry than to burn.” This doesn’t speak of hell fire.
• This speaks of the burning desire within them to have each other. And yes, this is the truth.
• Any grown man and woman knows what this burning feels like.
• Go ahead and get married and do what you need to do.

But also understand that this most likely will result in children.

• Follow the Bible, do what God says, and He will help you take care of your children.
• And then that married man is going to gain the experience that I already have.
• And then he might have some daughters of his own and be in the same situation he put me in.

So, to all the young men out there who want to marry a daughter of another man, you better treat that father right.

• Because the same situation is coming to you. Do you understand this? Okay, good.
• And father’s you better treat the young men right too. Godly men are brothers in Christ.
• The aged men are supposed to be teaching the younger men the right ways.
• The man who wants to marry my daughter will be taught the right ways by me when he comes to marry my daughter.
• And yes, he has to come to me and get my permission.

If he doesn’t, then my daughter needs to tell him the right way.

• I teach her the word of God, and she does things the right way.
• If a young man isn’t willing to follow God’s ways, he doesn’t get to marry my daughter.
• Now, my daughter could ignore me if she is above 18 years of age in the country and state.

But surely, after so many years of me taking care of her, she would follow God’s words.

• Hopefully, she has love for me after everything that I’ve done for her.
• If a man lures her into evil, she shouldn’t want to marry that man anyway.
• Not a good way to start a marriage.

[18] 1 Corinthians 7:37 Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well.

• Now, if I decide this is not a good marriage for my daughter and there is no need for her to get married, I will keep my virgin.
• She is mine. God says so. Daughters, do you understand this? And what does God say there at the end?
• “And hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, DOETH WELL.” God says I do well.
• God knows that the man of God is doing his best for his virgin. He wants the best for his daughter.
• And I’m not talking about worldly riches. I am talking about the things of God. The things that matter.

For example, I pray that God brings good men to my daughters. What do I mean by good men?

• Saved men who are following God. Does this make it an easy life for my daughter? No. It’s more difficult.
• Attacks will come to her husband because he is following God’s words.
• My daughter should have experience with this because of her father following the word of God.
• My daughters will have experience with people betraying their father.
• She will better know how to help her own husband as my wife helps me.

A good man is one who is saved and following Jesus Christ. This has nothing to do with riches.

• The good man will not be lazy. The good man will be a worker who cares for his own household.
• “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”

A good man won’t deny the faith. And that’s all I ask for with the man who wants to marry my daughter.

• I have authority in this decision as the father of the virgin in this Scripture.
• And I know better than both my daughter and this man that wants to marry her.
• Let’s take a look at verse 38 now and then attempt to tell me that I am teaching wrong.

[19] 1 Corinthians 7:38 So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.

• Now we know for sure that the Scriptures are talking about the father of the virgin.
• And this is clearly a continuation of the prior verses as we see the conjunction of so at the beginning.
• “So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well.”
• I am the one who gives my daughter in marriage. My wife is one with me.
• We give our daughter in marriage. You can see this in weeding ceremonies.

I need to be there to give my daughter. My daughter shouldn’t be running away to get married.

• Does everyone out there understand these things? The people of God need to be following the Scriptures.
• They need to know these Scriptures. Father, mother, daughter, and man who comes to marry.
• If I, as the father of the virgin, with the authoritative backing of God, decide to give my daughter in marriage, I DO WELL.
• I do not sin in giving my daughter to be married to the right man. See the second part of the verse.

“But he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.” If I decide it’s not time for her to be married, I doeth better.

• So, to all the virgin daughters out there with parents who love God, TRUST YOUR PARENTS.
• They know better than you. You might think you know better, but you don’t.
• Do you know why? BECAUSE GOD SAYS SO.
• Why would God put all these things in the Scriptures if you knew better? You don’t.
• We have the backing of God in these things, and there is none higher.

We also follow the laws of this land as God has commanded us to do.

• As long as they aren’t breaking God’s law, we are to follow them.
• In this state, the minimum age for marriage, for both parties, is 18 year without parental consent.
• With parental consent, you may marry at 17 years old. Laws change, though.

Personally, I think these are good laws. 17 is young, but every person is different.

• A 17-year old daughter who knows the Bible well from a child may be very mature.
• The 17-year old man who knows the Bible well from a child may be very mature.
• Would it be okay for them to marry according to God’s words and with parental consent? Yes.
• And someone might call me crazy. If the virgin has passed the flower of her age, she is a woman.
• If she is ready to be married, she can be married. HE SINNETH NOT.
• If I decide it’s not time for my daughter to be married, I doeth better.

Now, understand that marriage is for life. There is no valid reason for divorce except fornication before marriage.

• If you don’t think this man or woman is the one for you FOR LIFE, then don’t get married.
• And let me show you that this is the truth.

[20] 1 Corinthians 7:39-40 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. 40 But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.

• Paul is saying that the wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives.
• The only way she can ever marry someone else legally according to God’s law is if her husband dies.
• Only then is she at liberty to marry whom she will. ONLY MARRY AGAIN IN THE LORD.

Paul says, “I think also that I have the Spirit of God.”

• He is saying she will be happier if she so abide not in marrying again.
• And this is Paul’s judgement. Some people can go without marrying again.
• But don’t fornicate. If you just can’t do it, then it’s time to get married again.
• If you read the entire chapter of 1 Corinthians Chapter 7, you will now understand much better.
• Single people can care for the things of God much better and this is why Paul says this is better.

So, it’s great if my daughters want to stay virgins their entire life. And it’s also good that they marry.

• God gives both these options. If you are going to fornicate, get married instead.
• Now, let’s answer the questions for this sermon:
• What is the proper and right age for marriage? What do you think?
• God doesn’t give us a set age for marriage in the Bible.

God gives this authority to the laws of the land and to the father of this virgin.

• I’m going to follow the law and the Bible.
• If my daughter wants to get married at 15 years old, this would be a no. Not ever going to happen.
• 16 years old? Not going to happen. If she wants to marry an unsaved man, this will not happen.
• She better get him saved, and she better know how to get him saved. She needs to be a soul winner.
• And he better get to church after he’s saved and show me that he’s going to follow Jesus Christ.
• Get baptized. Read the Bible. Follow God’s words. Be under the authority of a good pastor.

A good pastor and the church that he is in will teach and preach the right things.

• And that young man needs to get things right and start doing things the right way. Get to work.
• God put us here to work. My job is to make sure that young man is saved too.
• If my daughter can’t get him saved, I should have the experience to get the young man saved.
• Do you want your daughter to have a good husband or not? IF SO, GET THE MAN SAVED.

[21] 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?

• How can you be one with an unsaved person and have a good marriage? Don’t make this mistake.
• Some people already have so they need to make it work.
• But, if you haven’t made that mistake, don’t make it.

Now, let’s say my daughter is 30 years old and is a virgin. She finds a wicked man and wants to marry him.

• My answer is no. “But she’s 30 years old. She can do what she wants.” No, I didn’t read that in the Bible.
• My answer is no. Can you not hear? No, No, No, No. Don’t marry a wicked man who hates Jesus Christ.
• So, the proper and right age for marriage is your virgin must be past the flower of her age.
• This is a different age for most young women. This is usually a pretty young age such as 12, 13, 14, or 15.
• This doesn’t give them the right to marry at these young ages.

The father decides when to give his virgin in marriage. If he decides to give her in marriage, he sinneth not.

• If he decides not to give her in marriage, he does well. So, there’s your answer.
• And it is the perfect answer that God has given us in the Scriptures. He has given authority to the parents.
• And this matches all throughout the Bible.

[22] Leviticus 19:3 Ye shall fear every man his mother, and his father, and keep my sabbaths: I am the LORD your God.

[23] Proverbs 1:8 My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:

[24] Proverbs 6:20-21 My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: 21 Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck.

[25] Proverbs 23:22 Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.

[26] Proverbs 30:17 The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.

[27] Ephesians 6:1-3 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

[28] Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

• With that said, how could a child who loves God ignore what I’ve preahced today?
• Daughters, obey the commandments of God and do the right thing.
• Sons who want to marry virgins, do the right thing.
• Parents on both sides, do the right thing.
• Let’s get this right and start doing things the way God wants them done.

Let’s pray.