Colossians 3:18-25
I want to talk about God’s design for your life. As a man, God has given me instructions within the Bible. Men and husbands have specific instructions. God has given women and wives specific instructions. Children are also given clear and specific instructions within the Bible.
We are to love the Lord God Almighty by following His commandments. That’s number one. We put Him first by doing what He’s asked us to do.
None of Us Have Lived the Perfect Life
And none of us are perfect. None of us have the perfect life. None of us have made perfect decisions throughout this life. I haven’t. You haven’t. Remember that as you hear this sermon today. None of us have done this perfectly so don’t feel bad. We are going to learn about God’s perfect design for your life, and we’ll try our best to get it right from this point forward.
As the Bible begins, in Genesis, we see that God creates a man. Then he creates a woman from the man.
Genesis 2:21-24
And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
As young men and women grow up, it’s natural for a man to desire a woman. And it’s natural for a woman to desire a man. But, the man was first. The woman was taken out of man. This is God’s order that He made.
Adam and Eve were married. Marriage is between a man and a woman. There are no other valid marriages.
The Bible says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Once a man and a woman comes together, they are one flesh. This should never happen, GOD SAYS, until a man and a woman are married. Then they come together and are one.
God wants a man to be a virgin at marriage. God wants a woman to be a virgin at marriage. Once married, the man and woman come together as one.
Matthew 19:4-6
And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
When you are married and come together, God says you are no more two but one flesh. This makes perfect sense too. You are together. As the husband, the wife is yours. As the wife, the husband is yours. God says so, and He says to “let not man put asunder.” Asunder means to divide. Once married, you are always married in God’s eyes. Don’t divide.
Matthew 19:9
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Fornication is a sexual relationship before marriage. This is not good. If you are having sexual relationships and you aren’t married, God is against this. It will not work out good for you. Adultery is a sexual relationship with someone who is not your spouse. God is against this. It will not work out good for you.
If you divorce your spouse and marry another, you commit adultery. Jesus says so. God says that marriage is for life. Just as you take wedding vows, “Till death do us part.” When you get married, that’s the vow you take. When you take a vow, this is a very serious thing.
Leave Your Parents and Cleave To Your Wife
Leave your father and mother and cleave to your spouse.
Now, Adam and Eve were married. Adam then knew his wife Eve. This is the perfect order. First the man. Then the woman. Marriage. Adam knew Eve. Eve conceives a child. A child is born. This is natural.
Genesis 4:1
And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD.
This right there is not against God’s law. Find a good spouse. Have children. Have as many children as you can. It’s not against God’s law. All of this is good. Now, when you go outside of God’s design, things are not going to go well. Sin will lead to many problems.
When you go after men and women outside of marriage, this is wickedness. Things will not end up well for you. When you have children outside of marriage, things will not go well. You’re just giving yourself more and more and more problems. It’s time to get it fixed and get back on God’s path for your life.
So, find a Godly spouse. Where do you find them? You find them at a good church. You might meet them here at this church, at another church, at a conference, or during soul winning. You might go out there and find your spouse during soul winning. You might preach the Gospel to them and get them saved.
Let me ask you a question. Will you find a good man or woman at a good church or at the “best” bar in town? Would you rather marry a man or woman that comes to church, hears the word of God, reads the Bible, prays to God, preaches the Gospel, wins souls to Christ, OR the man or woman at the local bar who can drink 100 beers in 45 minutes?
What do you think the right choice would be?
Would you want a man that has a good job, a good brain, a body that isn’t poisoned every night, a man that will love you by following God’s commandments, a man that would give his life for you, a man that wants the best for you OR a man who wants to go drinking at a bar every night looking for strange women?
Find Good Men and Women at a Good Church
As a man, do you want a woman who loves God, is humble, strong, loyal, has a quiet spirit, dresses modestly OR do you want a woman who is loud, yelling, brawling, screaming, and dresses with the attire or clothing of an harlot? Do you want a woman who lies to you, or a woman who tells you the truth?
This church is here to help you find good men and women. This is church is here so that you have good friends that you can trust.
Once you find a good man or woman that you think you want to marry, you need to make sure that’s who you want to be with for the rest of your life. Make sure they are saved. Make sure they believe in the Lord Jesus Christ. Make sure they are trustworthy, loyal, and don’t want anyone else but you.
You want a spouse that loves God more than anything or anyone. That is the first and great commandment. Find that, and you find a good spouse.
Once you find that, get married. Don’t have any type of sexual relationship until you are married. God commands this.
Once married, you can have all the children you want.
Now you have a family according to God’s perfect design for your life. How do you get your family in the right order? The husband, the wife, the children. Who will be leading the family? Who will be taking care of what?
The Roles in a Family
1 Corinthians 11:3
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
The head of the woman is the man. The head of the man is Christ. The head of Christ is God. It goes in that order. The husband leads the home and commands the home as the commander. The wife obeys her husband in the Lord. The children obey their parents.
Genesis 18:19
For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.
This is why it is important to have a husband who follows the commandments of God. He isn’t going to be perfect, but he honors and fears the Lord. He is supposed to command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord.
Joshua 24:15
And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.
Abraham and Joshua were great leaders. As the husband in your home, it is your job to lead your home. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Take command of your home by doing things the right way.
Ephesians 5:22-25
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Wives Submit to The Leadership of Their Husbands
A woman who loves God will submit herself to her husband. She will allow her husband to lead the home. If she won’t, the home life will not be working properly. There will be problems. Wives are to be subject to their own husbands in every thing. The wife submits to her husband.
Ephesians 5:28-31
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
When I say for the husband to command his home, this doesn’t mean to beat his wife when she won’t obey. Command the home. Take lead. Show your home how things are going to be done.
When church is open, we’re going to be there. When soul winning is happening, we’re going to be there. Every day we will pray. Every day we will read the Bible.
We will put God first. We will do good in this life. We will not do evil. We will not do drugs. We will not drink alcohol. We will not hurt ourselves. We will not hurt others. We will do the best we can for others.
As the husband or leader of the home, you are to take care of your wife and your children in every way. They are your responsibility. And the wife is the helper to the husband. These are the roles in the family.
The Husband Provides for His Home
1 Timothy 5:8
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
Now, please hear this, as this is very important. As the husband and leader of your family, your job is to provide for your home. My job is to provide for my wife and my children. I provide for them by working a job. I pay for food, drink, housing, electricity, water, garbage, internet, phones, and more. I take care of them. That is my God given responsibility.
I’ve had a job my entire life from as far as I can remember. My Dad taught me how to work hard. I haven’t been one day without a job in my life. After school, before I was a teenager, I would feed the cows and the horses. In the Summer’s, I would go to work with my Dad and deliver feed bags and carry feed bags with him all day long.
Now, I have a normal job to work, and I work for this church. In other words, I have two jobs. I get paid from my normal job at this time. This allows me to take care of my wife and kids. One job I work for money. The other job I work for God. I make more at the one that I don’t get paid money at because God pays the best. And God takes care of us.
So I work hard, provide for my family, and take care of them. This is God’s plan for me. I am fulfilling that plan and that makes me happy. If I don’t do this, I won’t be happy. I love to take care of them. If I won’t do that, I’m going to have big problems as this goes against God’s plan for me. I would be going against God’s design. Things aren’t going to work out well.
Titus 2:1-2
But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: 2 That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.
Listen, men should be sober. This means no alcohol. In Proverbs 23, the Bible commands us to not even look at alcohol. Sober also means no drugs and nothing that intoxicates you or changes you. Men should be grave meaning serious. We should be serious about things and not joking constantly.
Men Need to Follow the Bible
Men should be temperate or showing restraint or moderation. For example, when we eat at a restaurant, we don’t need to have the most expensive steak. We don’t have to have the most expensive hotel when we have to travel. We don’t need to have the most expensive rental car.
We don’t need expensive shoes, suits, clothing. We don’t get angry easily. Even tempered. Self restraint. Sound in faith. Believing God. Fearing God. Sound in charity. Charity is giving. Giving the Gospel. Sound in patience. Good men have patience. We wait on the Lord. We have mercy on others. We are longsuffering. Give people time to get things right.
Titus 2:3-5
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Women should behave well. Be holy meaning follow the commandments of God. Don’t falsely accuse people. God put that there for women for a reason. Don’t accuse others of doing something they didn’t do. Not given to much wine.
This means don’t be a glutton. Don’t be a drunkard. Don’t want things you don’t need. Teach good things. This means things from the Bible. In order to teach them, you need to know them. Read and study the Bible.
Older Women Should Ge Good Examples to Younger Women
Teach the young women to be sober. Get rid of drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, and anything that hurts your health. Teach younger women the right things. Set good examples. Show them how to love their husbands and how to love their children. Remember, we love each other by following God’s commandments and doing good to each other.
Women need to be discrete or careful to cause offense. Don’t get into the business of others. Be chaste or simple and restrained. When you want to be loud and start yelling, don’t do it. Restraint. Be pure. Only look at your husband and not other men. Be obedient to your own husband. He is your leader.
And do these things so the word of God is not blasphemed. Speak good things. Be a good example.
Now, take a look at where the Bible clearly says there that women should be keepers at home. Stay at home mothers who keep the home, take care of the children, teach the children. It’s a full time job. And it’s an important one. Cooking, cleaning, teaching, schooling, and caring for the children. This is God’s way. This is the perfect order God gave to us.
The husband works. The husband gets paid. The husband provides for his wife and children. The wife keeps the home. The wife takes care of the children. The wife teaches the children at home. The husband leads the home. Commands his household. Sets the example. Follows Jesus Christ. The wife follows her husband as he follows Jesus Christ. The children obey their parents.
Titus 2:6-8
Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded. 7 In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity, 8 Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.
Young men need to be sober minded. Don’t go too far in either direction. Be discrete or wise in avoiding sin. Show good works. For example, young men, go out soul winning and win souls to Christ. Show people you care. Get your doctrine or beliefs from the Bible. Don’t be corrupted. Have gravity or seriousness. Don’t always be joking around. Get real. Be solemn or serious.
Sound Speech is Very Important
Always have sound speech that can’t be condemned. Watch what you’re saying. Don’t give anyone a reason to say anything evil of you. Now, listen, the evil side will say bad things about you. They will lie. They will make things up. God will take care of that. But don’t give anyone a reason to speak evil of you because of the things you say.
Titus 2:9-10
Exhort servants to be obedient unto their own masters, and to please them well in all things; not answering again; 10 Not purloining, but shewing all good fidelity; that they may adorn the doctrine of God our Saviour in all things.
Servants are people who go out and work for others. I go out and work for others. I have a boss. I have a master. We are to teach servants to be obedient to their own masters. Please them well in all things. At my job, I do my best to make my boss happy. I do what my boss tells me to do unless it breaks the commandments of God.
Never once in my life has a boss of mine asked me to break a commandment from God. So I do what they tell me to do. I don’t make them tell me twice. Not purloining or stealing from them. Show fidelity or be faithful to them.
For example, if you have a job and you are to start at 7 am. BE FAITHFUL TO BE THERE BEFORE 7 am each day. Don’t be late. Be early. Work hard all day. Let them know you are Christian and show them how a Christian works.
Now, listen, this is God’s perfect order and instruction for your life.
Find Someone Who Loves God and Serves God
Find a good man or woman who loves God and serves God. Always put God first. Find them here in this church or another good church that preaches the Gospel. Make sure they are saved. Love them. Get married. Have children. Follow God. Work hard. Don’t stop. Don’t quit. Stay away from evil.
If you do this, all things will work together for good. Your life will be easier. Your life will be in order. You won’t have problems all the time. You’ll still have problems and issues, but you’ll be able to fight right through those problems with God’s help. You’ll know you are doing good. You’ll feel better. You’ll be happy.
Your husband will be happy. Your wife will be happy. Your children will be happy.
Now, this is just an introduction to getting your life in order according to God’s words. There are more detailed and specific instructions in the Bible for men, for women, and for children. We’re going to continue going over these things so you know what to do.
Until then, continue to put God first in your life by coming to church every time the doors are open. Learn and study the word of God. God will see your efforts. Only good will come from this.
Let’s pray.
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