“God First. Spouse Second. Children Third. That’s Bible Order.”
“Let all things be done decently and in order.”
1 Corinthians 14:40
🔥 INTRODUCTION: Why Order Matters in the Home
God is a God of order, not chaos. The sun rises in the east, not randomly. The body has a head. The church has a shepherd. And the family has a God-given structure.
When we get that order right—God first, spouse second, children third—we have harmony, blessing, and purpose. When we reverse it, homes become battlegrounds.
Today’s families are suffering not because of bad intentions, but because of bad priorities.
This study will walk through the biblical foundation for God’s divine order in the home, including an entire section on grown children who refuse to leave, lead, or let go.
🧭 GOD’S ORDER IN THE HOME:
➤ God is First
➤ Spouse is Second
➤ Children are Third
🔹 I. GOD MUST BE FIRST — ABOVE ALL
Matthew 22:37–38
“Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38 This is the first and great commandment.”
Matthew 6:33
“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness…”
Exodus 20:3
“Thou shalt have no other gods before me.”
If God isn’t first, nothing else will be in place.
He must outrank your spouse, your children, your job, and your own feelings.
Matthew 10:37
“He that loveth father or mother… son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”
🧨 Warning:
If your love for family overshadows your love for God, you’re not honoring Him—you’re worshiping them.
🔹 II. YOUR SPOUSE COMES BEFORE YOUR CHILDREN
This point may offend modern culture, but it is thoroughly biblical.
Genesis 2:24
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
Ephesians 5:25
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church…”
Marriage is a covenant before children ever exist.
It’s the foundation of the home—not parenting.
You are one flesh with your spouse—not with your children.
Mark 10:9
“What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
This applies to:
- Children who play sides
- Spouses who ignore each other for parenting
- Parents who lose their bond after raising kids
🔥 Key Truth:
You raise children to leave—you marry your spouse to stay.
🔹 III. CHILDREN COME NEXT — A BLESSING, NOT THE BOSS
Psalm 127:3
“Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord…”
Ephesians 6:4
“Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”
Proverbs 22:6
“Train up a child in the way he should go…”
Children are a blessing to raise, not idols to bow to.
When children become the focus, marriages collapse and homes grow chaotic.
God’s goal is not to center the home around children but to prepare them to leave it.
🛑 Child-centered homes become marriage-destroying homes.
🔹 IV. WHEN THE ORDER BREAKS, THE FAMILY FALLS
❌ When Children Come First:
- Marriages grow cold
- Kids become entitled
- The home has no stability
❌ When Spouses Come Before God:
- The marriage becomes an idol
- Love fails when feelings change
- Faith gets sidelined
❌ When God Is Last:
- The whole structure collapses
Psalm 127:1
“Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it…”
Matthew 7:26–27
“And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not… great was the fall of it.”
🔹 V. THE ROLE OF FATHERS AND MOTHERS IN THIS ORDER
Fathers and mothers are guardians of the order.
If they flip it, the home unravels.
| Role | Primary Duty | Scriptures |
|---|---|---|
| God | Worship, Obey, Serve | Matthew 6:33; 22:37 |
| Spouse | Love, Cleave, Honor | Genesis 2:24; Ephesians 5:25 |
| Children | Train, Correct, Prepare | Ephesians 6:4; Proverbs 22:6 |
🔹 VI. GROWN CHILDREN MUST GROW UP AND STAY OUT
📌 1. They Must Leave and Lead Their Own Homes
Genesis 2:24
“…a man shall leave his father and his mother…”
1 Corinthians 13:11
“When I became a man, I put away childish things.”
If you’re still acting like a child, clinging to your parent, or meddling in their marriage, you are out of order.
📌 2. They Are Not the Parent’s Counselor or Spouse
Mark 10:9
“What God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
That includes adult children trying to:
- Break up a remarriage
- Compete with a step-parent
- Manipulate a parent emotionally
You are not their comforter, their partner, or their authority. Stay out.
📌 3. They Must Not Meddle or Cause Division
Proverbs 26:17
“He that meddleth with strife belonging not to him is like one that taketh a dog by the ears.”
Proverbs 6:19
“…he that soweth discord among brethren.”
If you’re stirring the pot in your parent’s home, you’re sinning.
📌 4. They Must Be Responsible for Their Own Homes
1 Timothy 5:8
“But if any provide not for his own… he hath denied the faith.”
Adult children should:
- Get a job (2 Thessalonians 3:10)
- Lead their own house (Genesis 2:24)
- Stop living off parents
🧨 If you’re grown and still acting like a dependent, it’s time to grow up.
📌 5. Parents Must Enforce the Boundaries
Joshua 24:15
“As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
It’s time for fathers to say:
“You’re my child, but this is my wife and my house. Respect it or stay out.”
🔚 CONCLUSION: SET GOD’S ORDER AND STAND ON IT
God’s order isn’t optional—it’s ordained.
🏗️ Build the home God’s way:
- Put God first – Worship Him above all.
- Protect your marriage – Don’t let parenting crush your partnership.
- Train your children – Don’t worship them.
- Call grown kids to maturity – Don’t enable disorder.
- Draw the lines – Let no one come between what God has joined together.
Hebrews 13:4
“Marriage is honourable in all…”
1 Corinthians 14:40
“Let all things be done decently and in order.”
✅ MEMORY VERSE TO END THE STUDY
Genesis 2:24
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
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